Unwanted

I wish I could see myself reflected in your words, in your thoughts, in your art and in what you seem to like. My body feels unwanted. Thick. Dangerous. Shimmering on the edge of something important but ultimately wrong. In this I do not resonate within this devastating culture shedding its skin all over the floor of the world. I can not see myself in this mirror. I want to be in your eyes and carefully placed on your tongue like a catholic wafer waiting to be religiously swallowed in the dim light of your admiration. I want you to remove your complacency in this destructive behavior and understand what it is to be us; the hated and the devoured. So desperately needed and so violently shunned in the same motion. I want to be real and forget this unwant buried so deep inside me.