The Devil I Know

Are you brought low by this holy hand? Have you clouded your eyes with stumbling visions? Are you too proud to understand what you are doing in the face of rippling distinctions? Are you trying to be a slivered version of me?

Be grateful for this delicate creature and all her gentle graces. Be humble for her dwelling in your house tonight. Pray for her quivering legs or know love is gone from this place. I know what it is to be truly alone. You could not suffer that fate and ever expect to survive.

Unwanted

I wish I could see myself reflected in your words, in your thoughts, in your art and in what you seem to like. My body feels unwanted. Thick. Dangerous. Shimmering on the edge of something important but ultimately wrong. In this I do not resonate within this devastating culture shedding its skin all over the floor of the world. I can not see myself in this mirror. I want to be in your eyes and carefully placed on your tongue like a catholic wafer waiting to be religiously swallowed in the dim light of your admiration. I want you to remove your complacency in this destructive behavior and understand what it is to be us; the hated and the devoured. So desperately needed and so violently shunned in the same motion. I want to be real and forget this unwant buried so deep inside me.

Bloodied

My thighs are slick in a rush of bright red blood. My femininity is dripping on the ground and pooling around my feet. He can never understand my comfort in the drips left behind on the white tiles as I slip from the kitchen to the bedroom. At the window, I watch the pregnant mother cat prowl down the alleyway stalking a flittery, fluttery host of sparrows as her belly drags on the ground. Soon the birds are to air in a chattering brown-specked mass as dainty spots of bird's blood drip from her quick mouth. She slinks to the bushes to devour her prey.

I turn my eyes on him. My brain all full of predatory love. He cringes in the face of the female rigor that stiffens my belly with unkempt want and forgetful desire. He does not understand what it means to bleed. To know the moon with such an intimacy as to wonder if she knows your thoughts and body like no other ever capable of touch. He knows no spark of life; how the potential always frightens you keeping your eyes stuck open on hot nights. He does not understand those hills I came from still calling me from all this distance and this city deadening my animal ways. When I turn he makes a small noise like a mouse caught in a trap and shakes himself free of my hands.

At the doorway he turns and says, "I can feel you slamming into me even with my back turned."

I sit folded in on myself with bloodied fingertips and unfocused eyes, "Then never turn your back on me and you will never have to know the nightmares I have been saving especially for you. Never turn your back on me and I will be your lover for all time. Never turn your back on me and I won't come howling for you in the night."

My femininity rips itself free and kisses him hard until blood trickles down his lips. I trap him under my knees and rear back with hair wild framing a wicked smile. I can taste him inside of me. I breath "I know all Truth in my feminine ways and have seen the destruction your kind has lain down. We will rewrite the world in our image and seal it all with a kiss. We are everything you have been dreaming of and I want your everlasting affection. Open your eyes." And in that moment the room filled with a blinding light as all good and all evil became one in the shining blood mingling between my thighs, running over his hands in a rush of sweet kisses and the spark of life now gone in the wink of a vanishing cat-like eye.

We Two in Repose at Dusk

All the dead are singing their beauty to you and you can not see your own. I can see it. I can see it in your fingertips dancing over the keyboard giving yourself life outside of our careful bounds near the edge of the water. Near the edge of the world we designed. In this we have seen creation and we have seen it pass. It almost was, surprising me with the significance it could have had in my already fluttering hands.

Rest your head against my leg, sighing with half-eyed contentment. I can see the smile creeping into your eyes as I run my hands down your chest pressing above your heart. Our beats are reflecting in mimic times, the world crippling, filling with the voiceless heat mongers out for a day's jaunt. Our skin speaking in a language of its own design. We are watching the day slip through our fingers amused at our own slick flesh. We are making this bed our home for a little while before the movements swallow us up, floating in our own safe directions.

I dream of your lips almost nightly. My fingers looped in your hair spread over the softly perfumed pillows as you shimmer between the sheets of a dangerously cool summer night. My hands run down your arms following trails of hardened muscle and harder scars with my mind bent on touching butterfly kisses to the inside of your thoughts. I make love with words. My eyes fail in the darkening night as I wait for my name to make it into your mouth. I am sugar. Honeyed in a deepening pool of amber where you now rest your fingers. I am a blooming god with heavy flesh lingering on your lips, just visiting for awhile. I like your name and want to eat it up. I want your hands to play their own game. I want our breath to mingle until new worlds form the horizon breaking the dawn into shatters so we can stay in the dark forever.

I want all of our beauty to be free in the world carefully lying down together in a tangle of limbs and teeth for these moments that we can allow to happen. I want our dreams on the edge of the world ready to jump. I want you and that is all you will ever need to know.

Two Hearts in One Chest

I am sitting here watching the night pool around the street lights and letting my thoughts drift to you. I probably shouldn't and I am worried that this feeling growing in my stomach is blooming into something much more significant than I feel capable of dealing with. Sleep has fled from me as the night is receding into the slivers of day. The slow lightening of the horizon is mirroring the fretting taking up my mind. I want to close my eyes but the possibility of another beating heart is deafening me. Chasing me from the edges of darkness into a blinding sunlight I want to keep away forever.

If I could only live in the night I would. I would let the darkness define me in blurry outlines and secret shadows chasing down the shining eyes of cat-like gods through the thickening wood. The knot in my stomach grows, twists, turns; starts dancing to mimic my racing thoughts stumbling around the block on their own merit, stopping to ask strangers for spare dimes. They won't let me sleep with their loud conversations about lost hearts and little fingers. I'm terrified of what might be happening and the decision I might have to make.

You are a crippler. You cripple hearts without even realizing it. You cripple bodies with an unnerving delight. You cripple minds through a sheer obliviousness to your surroundings and the affects you have on the already dead and dieing. You don't know what you have done.

I put my ear to the ground and listen very quietly. I am listening for another beat, afraid that it might actually be there. Afraid of what it will mean in the face of the awakening day. I close my eyes and two hearts beat in two different places in the same body. The dawn sings its indifference and I wander off to find something to eat.

Crippled by a Kiss

If you would let me I would kiss you until you exhaled only fire from your lungs and all your thoughts focused on skin against skin. I hope you are thinking of all those heated nights we spent together when your fingers sang all your language to me. When silken hair was a landscape unto its own with the world getting smaller and smaller with every breath. I have the Truth under my tongue and you should search it out with your own. Come here and find my secrets so I can tell you where I hid yours. Let my kiss mean everything and I will make you my little god for the night with my hands rippling your skin to forever. We can be cats, steal wishes into the night and love like a disaster just like we always should have.

You can finally remember my name as we tell a different story than all the ones we told before.

Bonefire of Vanity

I would like to watch you burn. I'll even bring the marshmallows.

Open Your Eyes

I may not be your dream but I am perfectly happy being your nightmare.

A Sliver of Touch

If there is one thing I can offer, it is comfort. My skin is warm, my body soft, and arms open if you only want them to be. Touch has meaning if you let it.

Crushed into a Kiss

I felt your breath in my ear as you leaned in close to whisper 'I love you'. I startled myself awake caught in the smoke of your soft lipped dream. You are wonderful in my mind.

Doubt

I wish I knew if any of your thoughts were meant for me.

That Moment

I think I am finding myself a little enamored with you both and I like the idea that there are lips out there somewhere with my name lingering on them.