Iron Bells

From the hills I can hear the iron bells; they keep time with my heartbeat. Their deep tones vibrate the iron in my bones and the steel in my teeth. We are collections of metal scraps in this vacant land. We see nothing as the sun flashes in our eyes and go deaf upon that deep tone. We clutch at the sides of our heads on our knees covering our bleeding ears; squeeze our mouths shut in case truth should slip from our lips. We are nothing in the face of slicked-tongued demigods with diamonds for eyes...

What did we see in those eyes? I saw future, burnt to a blackened crisp by my own hands. The towers on fire as I tried to stop her. She ran into that building; screaming, coughing and choking on the black smoke of the flames. I could not stop her; she bit my hand as I tried to hold her back. When she caught fire she looked like a whirling dervish of embers; a black charcoal version of herself.

You saw past, your fist deep in his face. Both his eyes were black as soot and the bruises took on the colour of rotting plums. He spat blood in your face and felt no remorse for his actions. You felt bones snap under your blows and watched his eyes begin to cloud. When he stopped breathing you shut your own eyes tight.

Iron bells toll forever; deep as rasping breaths from an ailing chest cast in concrete. They keep the time of the slow beating of the universe; its pulse underneath all things-- driving our dead dreams and our mouths full of bitter ash. I will spit truth, you will spit danger, they will cough forth pain and suffering and human misery in the face of the coming storm.

This world is changing and we are caught in the cold in between... and have stopped breathing long ago.

Damager and Victim

My breathe in your ear comes out in a low growl filling the empty space around you. I am overwhelmed with an urge to damage you. Your face fills my vision as I grit my teeth and clench my fists at my side. You talk sweet explanations and inch towards the door but I have blocked your path. My form taking up doorways and hallways and pushes you back until your knees buckle and you fall backwards on to the floor. The dull thud of your skull against the tiles makes my skin twitch and turn.

My revenge turns to liquid honey in my mouth. Your prone form laid out on the ground makes me sweat sugar and acid. I can see the flames dancing around your head; your image mirrored inside of me burning. Your mouth twists into a half formed scream as I step down on your knee and crawl my way over your body. My breathe comes out ragged and hissing now as I slide myself over you. I am going to whisper your destruction in your ear.

Can you shatter for me? Can you understand that you brought this on yourself? Do your regret all that you said and did to me? Did you expect me to have this strength or did you assume I was some simple fragile female? Too bad you did not realize that I have demons on my side who surround me, infuse my bones with iron, twist my soul with barb wire and drive my dreams to a heated fever.

They swirl around us now; chirping just behind me and urging me on. Pushing me towards you, on to you, into you. My fists deep in your chest clutching at your heart as you attempt to mouth my name in a vain hope that it will break this spell.

The light spills out of your chest through the wound I have opened; your heart now in my hands illuminated from the inside out. I set it on fire with blue flames in the air between us and leave you crying on the floor wrapped around the emptiness that now takes up your chest. I am Damager and you have fallen as victim in the face of my onslaught. You will never see me again.

Terrifier in Rain

I lean my head against the cool glass of the window and listen to the storm attempt to tear the city apart. I spent the night dreaming of hurricanes. I felt the weight of the gray skies pushing down on my head like an invisible hand; lightening tapping at my mind and flashing bright lights to illuminate the inside of my skull. I am drowning in the weight of my own convictions as the rivers and oceans rise to meet the land in a torrential kiss.

These rivers of blood flow past me as I stand at the endless shore letting the wind catch my throat as a I swallow hard. I have stood on this hill for a thousand years and watched the bodies of the innocent float by. I drop flowers of blue and gold into the thick waters and watch them swirl into the depths of the unblinking eyes of drowned souls. Their faces bloated and distended with eye-sockets bulging under the weight of un-shed tears swallowed up by all this water.

The rain catches in my hair as I venture into the wind; the streets are slick with it and the masses huddle for warmth in their long woolen jackets clutching their collars to their cheeks to fend off the stinging driving rain. I turn my face up to it; let the rain pelt my skin until it is a chilly pink.

If I close my eyes I can feel the blood of the sky run down my flesh and soak behind my eyelids. It clouds my vision until I can see the true nature of the masses flowing around me; this river of flesh and noise. I see their glowing eyes and unbridled hunger as they dart out of the rain. This rain is cleansing and they want to keep the filth upon their skin. They run for cover and inch their feet away from the rising sea lapping at their ankles. They turn their faces from each other in this dim light and break out into flat runs as the thunder crashes down behind them.

I am a harbinger in the rain; I see all futures at once and can taste the past dripping on my tongue. The waters carry truth and vision and human misery to the surface of this ocean. Ships wreck themselves upon the rocky atolls of my distant body. My mind heaves hurricane winds at the mass to bring down their long rusted batteries, to open their eyes and let the blood seep in, to cleanse the skin long dirty and crack the hearts of their long dead gods.

Do not turn away from this now. The world is heaving and the skies are opening to let rays of filtered iridescent light through. The storm is come and gone; and you should be clean now. You should see as I do and turn back from these rivers of blood to the marching dawn of new life. Take my hand and part from this mass; we have a world to change.

Dawn Through Windows

The morning light is streaming through the window and wakes me as it stretches down my naked body seeking out the far wall of the room. I roll over to look at you and watch it light upon your face setting your hair on fire in its golden rays. I smile, having at some point during my dream-beleaguered night forgotten you were here. The daylight outlines your face, your shoulder, your chest... creating shadows on the scratches and little bruises of our late night activities. I smile a little more as I shiver with the cheeky little memories of your fingers finding interesting games to play upon my skin.

I trace my fingertips gently over your lips as I think about how hungrily you pushed your tongue into my mouth when we first kissed last night. You seemed so desperate to taste me as your lips touched mine like an electrical shock. The blood rushed to my face and my breathe came out in little heady gasps as you slipped your fingers beneath the band of my skirt to graze the top of my hips. In your eyes leaked a blind devotion to the terrain of my body as moonlight spilled over the contours of my skin while you peeled my clothing from my soft form--slowly, deliberately. You seemed to concentrate so very hard on what you saw, as if you wanted to commit every little line, dip and curve of me to your memory so you could visit it night and night again.

I am replaying the entire night in my mind and sighing provocatively when you flutter your lashes and open your eyes to me. My smile becomes mirrored on your lips as you focus upon my face and I know as I curl myself under the crook of your arm that we can revisit the memories of last night once again in this light of the golden dawn.

Unending Heart in the Time of Fearful Reunions

You have been thinking about me for years and your mind will never be completely free of me. You can try to wash it clean with sex and violence and other women but we both know it is me you are thinking of as you stare into their eyes. My body calls to you across the years and the depths of remembrance. The gentle curve of my breast, my breath in your ear as I whisper your name, my fingers running down your spine... I have left my imprint upon you as only a vengeful heart can.

You feared that I was staring into your soul as you held my gaze and you were right. I know you better than your really know yourself without you saying a word. Your touch told me everything I needed to know. I can read your mind in your actions. You will flee from me over and over again but you will be back someday when you realize you really have no where else to go. You know my arms will always be waiting for you as my heart lies dormant until your return. When all others have abandoned you, I will not.

You fear me as all men do. Touching me is like touching fire. You fear I will burn you up with the waves of emotion that roll off my skin; I refuse to be anything less-- to limit or deaden myself because I make you uncomfortable. I will not live half a life. I could not hear your thoughts in my head if I were to be anything less.

You are thinking about me right now even though you are trying hard not to. I can hear it over the distance between us. It vibrates and hums like an electric current through the night air. It tugs at me and makes me dance about the room like a marionette caught in the strings of the Devil's hands. My eyes flare as my soul does and I will dream of my hands upon you tonight. And when you close your eyes you will see these same visions and fear me until your dying day.

Come... curl against me and put your head in my lap. I will tell you that everything will be okay and fill you with the unending, undiluted light that is my love... if you will only halt your fears of me and let me lay my grace upon you in this; a shining time of an unending heart.

Demon Lover

My demon lover peers at me through the dimness of my room with dark eyes as he reaches for my hands. He makes fast work of difficult sentences in old languages with his wicked tongue and dredges up memories of the past with his touch. He flicks that tongue of his in and out of my ears and runs it down the side of my neck just so he can feel me shiver in his arms. I know he has plans to cripple me but I can not but help sigh into his embrace.

He places his hand upon my breast to feel my heart beat quicken and rise up to his own pulse. I know his blood would taste like fire if I were to lick it from his skin. I know his gaze will burn me if I were to hold it for too long... But his hand slides down my flesh leaving a trail of heat and rage and I have no choice but to look upon those piercing eyes and offer my soul in tender remorse.

His hands find every delicate curve of my body and extract deep sensation from every undiluted touch. He holds nothing back and tenderly wraps his fingers around my throat. His kiss is like a lake of fire and burns more than his blood as he takes my lip in his teeth and gently tugs my mouth open. His clever wicked tongue finds every opening in my body and his exacting ability to make me scream causes a trembling that I can not stop. He wants to hear my voice echo his name through the night so it can rattle around inside his skull like the drumbeat of some dark voodoo ritual.

He is my voodoo poet, my demon lover, and I fear he is writing his great opus with every breath I utter at his touch and thrust. I may be losing my soul to my love of him and I know he loves me in return with a great and vibrating fearfulness. Sometimes it is not unlike trying to hold on to a storm as he thrashes about me and pins me to the bed. His gentleness and violence are all mixed into those dark dark eyes and as he collapses and lies in my arms panting I know we are forever joined no matter how far he runs or how deep I burrow beneath these covers...

Destroyer

"Just because you can make me cum; that doesn't make you Jesus..."

I am going to break you like an expensive antique; watch your skull shatter like glittering shards of glass skittering over the pavement in a sparkling shower of sharpness. I have grown very tired of taking your pain and keeping it warm inside myself so you can move up, move out, move on with little or no consequence.

For I am the vessel. The holy order of emptiness that retains the unending devotion of emotional nights and dark confessions. I take all the suffering and confusion in the world and keep it inside myself. I keep it for you so you can come back and study it like a shining rare jewel when you start to forget why you hate so much. When you forget why you are so sad. I will be here waiting for you with this sword in my hand and the Devil in my eyes. I am the mother of monsters and the tongue of God.

You are my disciple and my lover in this time of great destruction. I have an unending ability to just let you in... Let you in the door of my heart no matter how many times you seek to hurt me. I will cradle you in my arms until the sun snuffs itself out on the edge of the universe; I will call down vengeance on your betrayers and open the wound in my side for you to feed off of. I am yours for this short time until your fears catch up to you and you find yourself with a jittery edge that turns you into the rabbit. Run little bunny. The wolf is coming for you and her fangs have grown long as her hunger has grown great.

I am drowning myself in the rain for your amusement. I am the sexual predator prowling alley-ways at night and leaving sharp jagged little instruments for you to find in the morning. Go on... carve my name into your limbs. Invoke me like the other worldly demon you seem to think I am. Use your blood to call me to the ground so you can show me all the fragile little pieces of your skull and heart. Ask me to glue you back together like a tin man with a tin intellect. You are one of the smartest men I know but you have no ability to just let this happen. I could be the answer to your prayers and you won't even open your eyes...

I have strapped my breast plate on; polished my armor until it shone; sharpened my weapons and now I sit upon this great black war stallion who paws at the ground in anticipation... but there is no battle. I have taken so much of you into myself that I have forgotten where I begin again. Is this all there is? Am I truly to become the destroyer that I always feared I would be? Will I become so isolated and repentant that I will be the center of the end of the world as I shout love...

Eye of Devil.
Mother of monsters.
Tongue of God.

Who will see me now if I never open my heart again?

...

Run Rabbit... Run.

I can tell you are lying naked in my arms and wondering when you can get up to leave. You have given me tiny bits of your soul like crumbs on a pathway. Is it so horrible to have someone care about you? Of course it is...

I have come to accept this place as my home; I have locked the door, shut the blinds and cradled myself inside this little bit of darkness that envelops my heart. My soft skin has turned ice-cold and my eyes have shut tight against the approaching light. I will not pry them open on this advancing day. I will stay in the dark where I have always been. I will let these depths take me over; take me under; drown me in currents deeper than I can see.

"Your eyes... they are so sad..."

I am now lying here, naked, alone... my arms wrapped around nothing. My heart pried open when I prayed it stay closed. Light spilling in while I cling at darkness. Burning the back of my mind and plunging me into chaotic fits of sighing... in between this world and the next I will find no comfort and wander far from home...