I had something to say to you but when I saw you striding down the street all thought and coherence left me with the gentle flowing of your hair down your shoulders. You have always tasted of sweet distraction.
When you opened the gate to the yard, you startled the flock of birds hopping about searching for tasty little hard-bodied insects scurrying in the lawn. They flew up into a wall of black announcing your presence with a unified calling echoing through the neighborhood. The slicked-eyed neighbors poked their heads over their fences and whispered in conspiratorial voices. "Who is that now? That tall, swaying-hipped, crazy looking chick? Who is that? What is she doing there? I don't think she's wearing a bra! And blazing red stilettos? Who the hell does she think she is?"
With you standing at the bottom of my garden steps I start to wonder what I did to bring you here? Was I silently praying for you in my dreams? Was my subconscious wishing for you? You bat your delicate eyelashes at me and gently purse your lips...
"Aren't you happy to see me?"
"It's been along time. And the last time..." I trail off.
"The last time..." You glide your fingers over your heart, "We both suffered last time." You tug at the buttons of your blouse and suddenly I am in the past, racing through a field running after you down a dusty path. The police were close behind, shouting words I couldn't make out but was sure were profanities. You ran like a deer; gracefully, quickly, head long through the tall grass. I was close behind, my lungs burning, my legs aching.
"Stop! You crazy bitches! Stop!"
"Fuck that pig!" You screamed back over your shoulder. You still had one of the rocks your had thrown through their windshield in your hand. You were laughing wildly like a good-time girl on a crazy caper; I was afraid we were going to die at the hands of two big, angry, sure-to-be-rape-happy cops. I waited for a bullet to tear through my back. You turned your beautiful crazy eyes on me, "Come on!" you laughed reaching for my hand and pulling me down a steep embankment. I looked back long enough to see one of the cops falling head over heels down the hill as we cleared the train tracks and dove into the tunnel beyond.
You pulled me into a decaying building on the other side of the train yard.
"We can hide in here. They won't find us. They're too stupid."
"You're fucking nuts! You know that, right?" I said between gasps trying to catch my breath; my lungs still burning like they had hot coals dropped down them. My legs were shaking; I thought about how nice it would be to collapse right there. I didn't though, for fear of looking like a pussy in front of you. I wanted to be tough for you. To be crazy like you; an Amazon in a leather jacket fearlessly screaming "Pig!" into a 200lbs bigoted cop's face. I wanted to let go, just let go of my stupid little safe life and embrace some recklessness. Embrace you.
"Serves them right. Calling us dykes like that. I shoulda done worse." You turned that fearless stare on me and I couldn't help but admire your unthoughtful bravery; and I couldn't help notice your unbound breasts heaving under your thin white t-shirt. Each breathe causing them to rise and fall like mountains of soft flesh; quivering to be touched. I clenched my fists at my side and looked down. Suddenly your hand was on my chin raising my eyes to meet yours. Every inch of me filled with longing; my body ached with it, the core of me burned with it. You must have seen it in my eyes.
You met my lips with a soft kiss wrapping your arms around me playing your fingers along my back. Suddenly my hands were under your shirt, sliding over your nipples soon replaced with my mouth. I gasped out loud when your fingers slipped below the belt of my jeans. Time hiccuped and we were on the floor tearing at each others clothing; trying to find an opening. Slipping hands along skin, lapping at each other like hungry dogs, fighting for breath. Your skin shone in the dusty sunlight through the dirty window as you held my glistening face in your hands and gently mouthed, "I love you."
I snap back to the present. You are there. At the base of my garden steps. Your long hair shifting in the breeze, your breasts pressing against your shirt (still not wearing a bra after all these years), your eyes still full of that crazy glinting energy. You are framed with a wall of black birds all calling out your name. I stand in the doorway of the safe little life I built for myself when you left. The hole in my heart carefully covered over now. I want for nothing. For nothing. You left and I convinced myself I needed nothing. If I step away from this door my safety will be gone. My life fractured for sure. I clench my fists at my side. You chew on the inside of your cheek and for the first time since I met you I can see a nervousness under your smile...
"Aren't you happy to see me?"
Suddenly I am down the stairs and taking you all in my arms. I am forcing my mouth against yours and our lips are meeting in a moment of searing heat. We are both gasping for breath; all the memories of your skin rushing back to me at once. Your body sliding up against mine; no air between us. Chest to chest, eye to eye. Tears are sliding down my face.
"I've never been happier to see anyone in my entire life..."
No comments:
Post a Comment