Freezing in the Deep

There are sharks out there. Big bull-headed things with gaping jaws and rows of ridged teeth. It's too cold for them here so they freeze in the deep and sluggishly wait for prey to come to them. The whales fair better with their fatty skin and massive size and they kill Great Whites in tropical waters much to the bewilderment of shocked marine biologists. The Killers come here to eat Steelheads impressing the tourists with their eyes glued to binoculars clinging to the railings of expensive boats.

I stood in the surf today letting the cold waves crash over me. This bay is too sheltered for such wildlife except for screeching seagulls waiting for garbage scraps from careless sunbathers and the occasional seal making it's way to better fishing grounds. I saw no sharks and heard no whale songs. The water was cool, murky and the big barges hauling god-knows-what shimmered in the distance against the horizon.

The breakers were bigger than usual flinging nude bathers towards the shore with delighted squeals and chirps.  It was these waves that caused so many shipwrecks once upon a time crashing ancient ships into the shallow beaches. I could have rode those waves forever. Set myself to sea like a Haida canoe. Just to stay out there searching for uninhabited islands and those big coastal Pacific octopuses. I could decorate myself in purple starfish, green seaweed and little shells. I could be a shark if I wanted to be.

There was a time when I brought lovers here but they have this tendency to try and drown my heart in these frigid waters. They like to see if it will burn up in the sunset and then silently follow me up the stairs with my now all empty chest and dripping hair. Here I am suddenly unable to breath on land. If I keep my hands below the water maybe it will all come back to me. That skin glistening and wet as he walked the beach towards me. Warm to the touch absorbing all the sunlight to it. Those eyes lost somewhere else, not here, not with me but somewhere un-described and dark. My own skin never actually warming but cold as milk and just as white. I think I came here to drown something of my self but the truth is I just end up floating and someone always tries to make an island of me.