I Called You Apache Heart

I'm still waiting for you to pick up your guitar and play a song for me. Maybe you can tell me the truth through lyrics you come up with on the fly. You can sing to me on the beach while the sun dips down below the skyline on this coastal city; tell me what you really feel in the dying light. You can tell me why you only love me in the summer with skin as hot as Arabic deserts and eyes lost to a guilty god.

I'm always dying in the light and I'm waiting for the summer to fade. I'm waiting for the dead fall to come for me. For it's cold lover's arms to wrap me in the blackest nights drowning in starless skies. It's windy tongue to lap against my neck; raining down on me with heavy grey clouds pressing the heavens close to the earth in a wet grip on this darkest of kisses.  For the leaves to fall in my golden crown. I came here all dirty hearts and bloody hands to let the rain wash me clean. There is no beauty you can find in me and my kiss is as wet as dead leaves.

You should have left me here. I was quietly getting on with my life. But your fingers nimbly plucked my strings against my wooden constitution. I felt what you had in you pouring into me. Empty vessel that I am. The wind filling me up all vibrating on and on and on. I came back to where I first realized I loved you and tried to drown in the waves crashing over my head. The ocean spat me back out and the fall wouldn't let me come here anymore.

I traced the patches of your skin over your Apache heart letting the sharpness of your words sink into me. Your hatred of what I meant now becoming my song. You called me the silly pine tree girl raised in these mountains where only dangerous rivers run to the ocean following the trail to where my legs finally came to rest. He said he hated these cliffs just like you hate my bending will in dripping mornings and this stupid way to say a detached goodbye.

When they come for me, and they will, I'll tell them about you and that heart of yours. I'll tell them how you never spoke to me again. I'll tell them about how I held you in my arms in the softly fading light. I'll tell them how you occupied my mind. How I whispered in your ear as you fell asleep. How I whispered to your Apache heart the secrets of running away and kissed you goodbye for the last time.

My heart's a mess and I just continue living like this.