I was trapped in the dark and screaming. I was curled around myself trying to keep my insides from falling to the outside. In my dreams I was safe but here... Here I was a victim in your arms. You had those arms as strong as steel wrapped around me and I could see your hands were soaked in blood.
If I were to bolt from this room running with my hair streaming wildly behind me, would you give chase? My legs ached to run. To run from these feelings. To run from this burning pain in my chest. To run from those bed sheets soaked in my blood.
The fear was deafening until I could only hear the sputtering off-kilter beat of my own broken heart filling up my head. I wanted your arms around me. I wanted to push myself closer to you until you completely enveloped me. I wanted to disappear into you.
I struggled to stand on wobbly legs with your arms holding me up. You whispered in my ear that everything would be okay if I were to only stay close to you. I wanted to believe that. With every last ion vibrating a mimicry of the movements of the universe quivering in my body, I wanted to believe the words hanging in the air between us. I wanted your heart to keep me alive; to bolster the weakness in my own so I could stand without fear or frailty.
When I collapsed to the floor, you crouched over me with tears in your eyes. You spoke softly, murmuring, "I love you..." I closed my eyes and listened to my heart stop beating...
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